Monday, May 6, 2013

Sefiras Haomer- Day 37

Day 37

Gevurah Shebeyesod – Discipline in bonding

Joke: A boy comes home from school and tells his mother he got a part in the school play.
"That's wonderful!" says the mother, "Which part?"
"The part of a Jewish husband," says the boy, proudly.
Frowning, the mother says, "Go back and tell them you want a speaking role!"

Bonding requires at times the discipline and restraint coming from mutual respect and recognition of boundaries.
Are you too verbal in your bonding? Are you overbearing? Do you know to back off and respect the space of the other?
As a teacher, do you know when to be silent and allow your student to think on his/her own? As a parent, do you know how to stop kissing and “choking” your child with your affection and bonding? As a friend, do you know how to say “goodbye” and give the person space?




Sefiras Haomer- Day 36

Day 36

Chesed Shebeyesod – Kindness in bonding

Joke: A man asks a judge to let him off jury service.
Judge says, ‘But surely your firm can manage without you for a few weeks.’ The man replies, ‘Certainly. They can manage without me altogether – and I don’t want them to find out.’

Yesod, bonding, is about creating the glue that bonds us to each other. When you wish to bond with someone learn how to express your love and affection for them in a way that they understand. Allow them to feel and sense how important a role they play in your life.
Do not keep your deep connection to the other person inside. Express it with passion and intensity.




Thursday, May 2, 2013

Sefiras Haomer-Day 35

Day 35

Malchus Shebehod – Selflessness in consistency

Joke:
Pupil: My sister and I know the meaning of every word in the world. 
Teacher: What does egotistical mean?
Pupil: That would be one of the words my sister knows.

Don’t become arrogant about your ability to be steadfast, consistent and reliable.
Remember that it is not always about you, rather how you effect and benefit the people around you.
Do not become obsessed in your rigid schedules and patterns; do not worship your own need to be consistent. Rather, focus also on how it is affecting the people around you.

- Rabbi YY Jacobson
yyjacobson@theyeshiva.net




Sefiras Haomer-Day 34

Day 34
Yesod Shebehod – bonding in consistency

joke: An artist asks the gallery owner if there has been any interest in his paintings. ‘I have good news and bad news,’ the owner replies. ‘The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.’ ‘That’s wonderful,’ the artist exclaims. ‘What’s the bad news?’ The owner replies, ‘The guy was your doctor…’

You are a responsible, consistent, reliable husband or father. Yet, you don’t feel you get the credit your commitment deserves.

You are a reliable and fair employer. You have principles and you stick to them. Yet, you do not feel that your employees appreciate you for all the effort you put in being a consistent and principled employer.

You work so hard to be there for your husband, all of his needs are met. He comes home to a fresh, hot dinner, and a clean home. Yet, he does not show appreciation…

Sometimes, your consistency—though admirable—still requires bonding. You need to bond with your loved one, express to them your caring and affection for them. Tell them how much they mean to you and how important they are in your life. This can make all the difference.

- Rabbi YY Jacobson
yyjacobson@theyeshiva.net





Sefiras Haomer- Day 33

Day 33

Hod Shebehod – consistency in consistency

Joke: A traveler in the out-back pulled in for some gas and a cup of coffee. 

While drinking his coffee, he looked out the window and saw two workers out in the fields.
One was digging holes every couple of yards, and the other was immediately filling the holes up.

This puzzled the traveler. Curiosity got the better of him, so he went into the field to ask the workers what they were doing.

"Well", said one of the workers, "Me, my brother Seth and my other brother Jeff are tree-planting contractors working for the County. I dig the holes, Seth puts the trees in the holes and Jeff fills the holes back up. Today, Seth is off sick...

...just because Seth is home sick, doesn't mean me and Jeff also have to take the day off!"


You embarked on a path toward a better and healthier life—one that is more productive, meaningful and moral. You were inspired for a while, but now the motivated has waned.

This is the moment that calls for “consistency in consistency,” your consistency may lack an inspirational engine, but you must plow away. Be consistent in your consistency even when you have no passion to back it up.

When you know something is true and correct, follow through, even when you are internally not motivated and you could not care less about it. This is where inner stubbornness must be elicited.

What is the quality that most secured the endurance of our people? It was the ability to endure and remain steadfast in our commitment to Torah despite enormous resistance from without. Even when we lacked internal light and inspiration, we knew how to be consistent in our consistency.

That is why Lag Baomer, the day of the passing of Rabbi Shimon ben Yochaei, is associated with this day in the omer. Rabbi Shimon, author of the Zohar, gave us the inner ember of endurance.

- Rabbi YY Jacobson
yyjacobson@theyeshiva.net





Sefiras Haomer- Day 32

Day 32

Netach Shebehod—Victory in consistency

Joke: A Texan is in Israel and is telling a dairy farmer how large his ranch in Texas is. He tells the farmer his ranch is so large that if he gets into his pick-up truck and drives all day, he would not reach the other border of his ranch.
The Israeli responds," I used to have a truck like that.”

There will always be forces outside of you that will easily derail you from your goals. To consistently follow through, you must access your capacity for forging ahead despite mockery, cynicism, disheartening comments, pressures, antagonism, or any other obstacle from without.

If you know that you are on a good path and you are doing G-d’s work, march forward and do not blink. Be kind and empathetic to the positions and perspectives of others, but do not cave in just because it may be uncomfortable or scary.

- Rabbi YY Jacobson
yyjacobson@theyeshiva.net



Sefiras Haomer- Day 31

Day 31

Tiferes Shebehod – Empathy in consistency

Joke: What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge.

Consistent people need to be rigid to a certain degree, particularly towards themselves - refusing lavish temptations of all sorts. But do not let your consistency and self-mastery make you aloof, insensitive, obnoxious and judgmental. Remain empathetic to the conditions and challenges of other people. Respect their circumstances and their journeys which may have an entire different set of challenges.

You must also be empathic to yourself. Despite your rigidity, in order to maintain your schedule and objectives, do not become obsessive. Retain your balance and sense of humor by understanding that what may be called success in one area might be defined as failure in another one. Have empathy for the inconsistencies of human life so that you don’t freak out when you are called on to change course.

- Rabbi YY Jacobson
yyjacobson@theyeshiva.net



Sefiras Haomer- Day 30

Day 30

Gevurah Shebehod – Discipline in consistency

Joke: An older Jewish couple was starting on a vacation, but it soon became obvious that their habit of arguing over everything was not taking a break. ‘It’s “Hawaii”, I’m telling you!’ she shouted. ‘Oy! I never KNEW someone so stubborn! It’s pronounced “Havaii”!’ he replied. And so it went all the way to the airport and for the long flight. As they got off the airplane, the husband abruptly stopped his wife and turned to a man standing at the airport gate. ‘Now that we’re on the island, you can settle an argument between my wife and I. Is this Hawaii or Havaii?’ The man smiled and said, ‘This is Havaii.’ ‘Ha!’ the husband said, turning to his wife. ‘See, didn't I tell you never to argue with me? I’m always right!’ As they began to walk away, he turned and gave the man a hearty ‘Thank you!’ The man responded: ‘You’re velcome!’

When Steve Jobs was asked what his ultimate success was, he responded: It was the many projects I declined.

To be consistent, to maintain your balance, you must be disciplined and strong-minded within yourself. You have to be able to tell yourself “no”; you need to challenge yourself, your habits, instincts and cravings, if you want to persevere.

Some of us have the power to persevere, but we lack the discipline and strength needed to say “no” to our destructive patterns. As a result, we pull the rug out from under our own feet. Rigidity is an important ingredient in a successful and meaningful life.




Sefiras Haomer- Day 29

Day 29

Chesed Shebehod – Kindness in consistency

Joke #1: An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman met up for their lunch break every day at work. One lunch break, the Englishman says "Oh no! Not egg sandwiches again! If I get egg sandwiches tomorrow I'll kill myself!" The Scotsman opens his and says "Oh man! Not tuna sandwiches again! If I get tuna sandwiches tomorrow I'm going to kill myself!" The Irishman opens his and exclaims "No way! Potato salad sandwiches! AGAIN! If I get these tomorrow I'm going to kill myself!"
The next day they all met up again, and the Englishman opens his lunch. "Egg sandwiches!? Right then!" he yells and throws himself off a cliff. The Scotsman opens his lunch. "Tuna sandwiches again! Thats it!" and he shoots himself. "What? Potato salad again?" cries the Irishman upon discovering his lunch, and he hangs himself.

At the funeral, the wives were huddled together crying. "I don't get it," said the Englishman's wife. "Why didn't he just tell me?" The Scotsmans's wife agreed. "I know, he should have just said something. I don't understand it!" The Irishman's wife joined in. "I don't understand!" she said. "He made his own sandwiches!"

Joke #2: A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.

As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap, and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed, reading a novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked:

“What happened here today?’”

She again smiled and answered, “You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?”

“Yes,” was his incredulous reply.

She answered, ‘”Well, today I didn’t do it.”

Personal Question: What is your reaction when you are ready to go to the Bar-Mitzvah on time but your spouse if not ready?

Often, consistent and disciplined people become intolerant and unkind to others who they perceive as not being on par. In our attempt to live responsibly and consistently, we become rigid, terse and snappish.

You live by the clock. When you arrive home, hungry and tired, you are ready for dinner. But dinner is not even close to being ready. Do you lose your patience and snap?

It is good to be consistent and rigid with yourself. Yet remain kind, cheerful and good spirited to others who may be in a different place in life. Don’t allow your consistent and disciplined life style turn you into a grouchy and rigid party-pooper. 




Sefiras Haomer- Day 28

Day 28

Malchus Shebentzach – Selflessness in victory

Joke: A knight and his men return to their castle after a hard day of fighting. ‘How are we faring?’ asks the king. ‘Sire,’ replies the knight. ‘I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west.’ ‘What?’ shrieks the king. ‘I don’t have any enemies to the west.’ ‘Oh,’ says the knight. ‘Well, you do now.’

Let your victories never become personal and motivated by insecurity, arrogance or ego-centrism. Ask yourself, am I fighting to exact revenge, or because I am frantic and impulsive?

Ensure that your victories are motivated and inspired by a cause larger than your ego. Also, when battling for something, focus on the cause, not the person.




Sefiras Haomer- Day 27

Day 27

Yesod shebenetzach – Bonding in victory

Joke: A man was laying a new concrete path. No sooner was his back turned than a crowd of children came running by, leaving unsightly footmarks all over the hardening surface. The man started to swear. A neighbour who heard him said to him, ‘I’m surprised, Sam. You told me you liked kids.’ ‘I like them – in the abstract, but not in the concrete.’

It is not enough to fight for a loved one; you must also bond with them.
Some parents will fight for their children but not bond with them. Some teachers will fight for their students, but not bond with them. Some husbands will fight for their wives, but not bond with them.
To take a stand against injustice and to protect the innocent is vital. But not enough. We must also bond with those we are fighting for. We must show them our concern and make them feel special and protected.



Sefiras Haomer- Day 26

Day 26

Hod Shebenetzach – Perseverance in victory

You may score your victories, but if you do not demonstrate consistency and perseverance, you will not succeed. You may climb a mountain and reach its peak, but to remain on the mountain often proves more difficult.


Sefiras Haomer- Day 25

Day 25

Netzach Shebenetzach -- Victory in victory

Life is filled with obstacles. There are people and forces who will cut mock your dreams, cut you down and belittle you. Yet you have the ability to overcome all odds and triumph over all forces that undermine your calling and destiny.



Sefiras Haomer- Gevurah Shebeyesod


Gevurah Shebeyesod – Discipline in bonding

Bonding requires at times the discipline and restraint coming from mutual respect and recognition of boundaries.
Are you too verbal in your bonding? Are you overbearing? Do you know to back off and respect the space of the other?
As a teacher, do you know when to be silent and allow your student to think on his/her own? As a parent, do you know how to stop kissing and “chocking” your child with your affection and bonding? As a friend, do you know how to say “goodbye” and give the person space?

Sefiras Haomer-Chesed Shebeyesod


Chesed Shebeyesod – Kindness in bonding

Yesod, bonding, is about creating the glue that bonds us to each other. When you wish to bond with someone learn how to express your love and affection for them in a way that they understand. Allow them to feel and sense how important a role they play in your life.
Do not keep your deep connection to the other person inside. Express it with passion and intensity.